We received Grandpa's RSVP this past weekend, and he declined our invitation.
Long-ish kinda story:
He further wrote on the RSVP that he is insulted that my last name (my last name = dad's last name = grandpa's last name) was not mentioned on the invitation. He also added that he denies that I'm my father's stepdaughter (his words...he thinks our invitation says I'm not my dad's natural daughter, so he thinks he's denying that fact, which we never NEVER never intended to mean; I am my father's natural daugther) and that a marriage certificate in the names indicated on the invitation will be null and void. He think we are saying that the name presented (my first and middle names) is my legal name.
Well, when I saw this, I was infuriated by his taking insult from our invitation as there was no intent to imply anything...especially that I'm not my father's daughter! You can probably imagine how angry I was. Because he's making a big fat something out of NOTHING!!!
Here's the format we used for our invitations:
Simple, Traditional Format
[proper names of those hosting] (official hosts line)
request the honor of your presence (request line)
at the marriage of their [relationship of the bride to the host]
[bride's first and middle names] <-- here is where Grandpa finds offense
[groom's full name],
the [day of the week] of [day and month of wedding]
at [hour] o'clock in the [time of day] at
[name of wedding venue] in
Reception to follow
Most etiquette guides on wedding invitation wording use this format! Including Ms. Emily Post. Here's some other info you'll need to know. It is in Filipino tradition that we carry our mother's maiden names as our middle name. So as my name is presented...it kind of looks like my middle name is my last name.
Our invitation designer also reassured me that etiquette follows that if the parents' names are mentioned first, it is assumed the bride's last name is the same.
Yesterday, this broke me. I started writing a letter to my Grandpa apologizing for the misunderstanding, and that our intention was not what he believes so to be. I printed out conversations with our designer, and I printed out etiquette guides on wedding invitation wording. I told him that I've always loved and respected him, and that it is still with love that I write that letter. I have yet to send it; my aunt, Dad's sister, told me that she would try to speak with him first.
I cried to my sister, and she tried her best to comfort me. It hurts that he thinks my intention was to say that I'm not my father's natural daughter. <-- This one really hurts. I NEVER denied that he is my natural father. NEVER EVER EVER!
To be honest though, it'll just never be the same for me when I look at him. I don't think I can love him the same. It really hurts...I mean, it breaks my heart.