Some most unfortunate news

We received Grandpa's RSVP this past weekend, and he declined our invitation.

Long-ish kinda story:

He further wrote on the RSVP that he is insulted that my last name (my last name = dad's last name = grandpa's last name) was not mentioned on the invitation. He also added that he denies that I'm my father's stepdaughter (his words...he thinks our invitation says I'm not my dad's natural daughter, so he thinks he's denying that fact, which we never NEVER never intended to mean; I am my father's natural daugther) and that a marriage certificate in the names indicated on the invitation will be null and void. He think we are saying that the name presented (my first and middle names) is my legal name.

Well, when I saw this, I was infuriated by his taking insult from our invitation as there was no intent to imply anything...especially that I'm not my father's daughter! You can probably imagine how angry I was. Because he's making a big fat something out of NOTHING!!!

Here's the format we used for our invitations:

Simple, Traditional Format

[proper names of those hosting] (official hosts line)

request the honor of your presence (request line)

at the marriage of their [relationship of the bride to the host]

[bride's first and middle names] <-- here is where Grandpa finds offense

to

[groom's full name],

the [day of the week] of [day and month of wedding]

at [hour] o'clock in the [time of day] at

[name of wedding venue] in

[city, state]

Reception to follow

source: here

Most etiquette guides on wedding invitation wording use this format! Including Ms. Emily Post. Here's some other info you'll need to know. It is in Filipino tradition that we carry our mother's maiden names as our middle name. So as my name is presented...it kind of looks like my middle name is my last name.

Our invitation designer also reassured me that etiquette follows that if the parents' names are mentioned first, it is assumed the bride's last name is the same.

Yesterday, this broke me. I started writing a letter to my Grandpa apologizing for the misunderstanding, and that our intention was not what he believes so to be. I printed out conversations with our designer, and I printed out etiquette guides on wedding invitation wording. I told him that I've always loved and respected him, and that it is still with love that I write that letter. I have yet to send it; my aunt, Dad's sister, told me that she would try to speak with him first.

I cried to my sister, and she tried her best to comfort me. It hurts that he thinks my intention was to say that I'm not my father's natural daughter. <-- This one really hurts. I NEVER denied that he is my natural father. NEVER EVER EVER!

To be honest though, it'll just never be the same for me when I look at him. I don't think I can love him the same. It really hurts...I mean, it breaks my heart.

more on my invitations

So I left you with my Vietnamese invitations...an you've yet to see the entire suite.

First, for those wondering...I used Times New Roman in MS Word in the Vietnamese invitations. Dee found a great picture of a Vietnamese invitation, and I simply copied it...with of course adjusting the date, time, and venue. I'd also like to mention that I found translations for all those all by my-Filipino-self. Fi's dad did go over it to make sure I didn't screw anything up.

Okay...back to these suckas!

Our Entourage insert. This is a Filipino custom. We only put them in some invitations. Vellum is expensive man! Plus, if you have sweaty hands like me, and you printed on the vellum with an inkjet printer...forget about it!


Here are the inserts taken out of the pocket.


And this was used to seal our pocketfolder closed. It was a last minute project for me, and it was kinda off center, but whatever. The gold paint turned out really great!!

And our envelope liners. We used a combination of Japanese paper (which we ran out of...and was very expensive) and gift wrap that I got from Hallmark and The Container Store.

So those are my invitations. I've been getting some really nice compliments. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! =)

Invitations in Detail

my work station. only 1 table of 2 shown. 2nd table is underneath.

Our invitations were created by DIY, and unfortunately, as I got deeper in my work, I did not take any pictures of the process as it had become so tedious, and I just wanted it done!

We had 2 different versions of our invitations. One in Vietnamese (as requested by his parents) and our English version. The Vietnamese ones were a surprise project, and I had 1 week to complete it. I somewhat resent these as they were unplanned and totally threw me off my invitation printing schedule.

We started by attaching the backing to our pocket folders.

I started with the text first, which I embossed. It looked great.

I then went straight to the invitation. I used a flower patterned design made by Darci.

And then the next task...tackling the inserts.

I loved the embossing on the black text so much that I had decided to emboss everything. Probably not the smartest thing I thought up to do because it totally prolonged the process.

Okay, so we only needed 30 of those Vietnamese invitations for his parents, so that was all I was planning to do. So I burned my "accommodations" and "directions" insert on my Gocco screens and got to work. And here are the problems I ran into:

1. an indentation on my Gocco screen caused 1 letter to print out darker than the rest
2. my Gocco PG-11 only had a print pad size of 3.75x5.75. my invitations were at least 4" in width and 6.75" at its longest length, which was my bad. i should have measured accordingly, but I didn't, and this led to my next problem:
3. each insert needed to be Gocco'd at least 3 times (except for the Vietnamese invites)
4. not all embossing powders are created equal; I found the Judi-Kins embossing powders (fine) were best.
5. Gocco screen can be reused, BUT they are better (like 100x better) when you first apply fresh paint. Refrigeration can only save so much. I ended up having to burn new screens as the other ones weren't printing as well. =( I just couldn't simply finish EVERYTHING the weekend I did the Vietnamese invitations. I only needed 30 of those done, so I set out to only complete 30. It would have killed me if I did any more.

I'll continue in another post. I'm tired from thinking about it. Hah!

But all invitations are out. So WOO HOO!!

Paper cut

...the other kind...like the kind you get done at your local Kinko's (now FedEx Office).

We're going with A7 Himalaya pocketfolders, purchased from Paper and More in Taupe Brown Recycled. While the Paper and More does sell pre-cut paper to fit the pocketfolder, I didn't want to spend the time to find if they had the colors I needed and if the paper would work out with my Gocco (a Japanese screen printer). My local Paper Source was where I turned to. I ended up buying sheets in 8.5x11 in bulk. I was going to attempt to cut the paper myself, but I finally decided it wasn't worth it. Enter Kinko's.

I first called up Kinko's to get the specs. There are mixed reviews online about the finished work, so I was really scared. I ended up drawing out exactly how my paper should be cut (as recommended by the Kinko's guy I talked to on the phone), and I provided samples of my invite. The paper turned out great! At $1.49 per cut (doesn't matter how many pieces of paper), I thought it was a great deal for custom-cut paper!

our boxes of cut paper.

Here is the mock invite I left with Kinko's. I noted all the sizes of the base layer, the invite, and all the inserts.

I needed a base layer under my invitation in 4.5x6.5.

I chose Rhubarb in cover weight as the base layer.

I really wanted to maximize the use of all my paper. I had Kinko's cut 2 sets of 4.25x5.25 (accomodations card) and 1 set of 4x6 (invitation) on the Super Fine White Paper.

paper cut...

1 set of 4.25x6.75 (directions card) and 1 set of 4x6(invitation).

paper cut.

2 sets of 4.25x6 (RSVP card) and 1 set of 4.25x6.75 (directions card).

So I ended up with 2 sets of each size...enough to compensate for mistakes and such. And I was quite satisfied with the job that Kinko's did.