Wednesday, December 10, 2008

P.O.'d

Not Pretty Obsessed, Pissed Off, actually. I really hope I'm not being too insensitive...but here's me being honest. When I asked my girls to be my bridesmaids, I had to begin with one of the precursors: "Being a bridesmaid comes with certain financial responsibilities. As I'm not rich, I can't afford to take care of everything for you, so if you think this will be a financial burden for you, you don't have to accept. I will not be hurt...BUT I would love it if you can share my day with me as my bridesmaid." Yea, it sucks that I had to start off like that. For the most part, my girls have been great about the financial situation to me, and I am grateful for it.

So, girls, if you're reading, thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping to make this as close to my dream wedding as possible.

The groomsmen on the other hand are being a pain in my a$$...complaining about money issues and getting together to meet and converse about it. Well, not all of them. But I hate this excuse: "...if we have to spend more money on our outfits, then we'll have to take it out of your gift." blah blah blah. I'm hurt. There's a tear in my heart because you say such things. I mean, really, it hurts.

Here's what I think: If I were asked to be in a bridal party, I would like to think that I would do everything asked of me. I would understand from the beginning that I will be devoting my time and even my money to this wedding. And that I would still give a gift I planned to give had I not been in the wedding party. Or, I would know that I'm totally not capable of being there when needed, or that I wouldn't be able to afford it, so I would kindly decline.

Having a wedding is EXPENSIVE. If you haven't had a wedding or you're guessing what it costs, you just don't know. So please, complain to someone else about your money problems. We're in a recession. I get it. How do you think we feel? We're freakin' planning a wedding.

It's not like I'm not trying to find ways to save. But you agreed to help make this the best day of our lives...so please, keep your promise. Or leave.


End rant.

Photo credit: here

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4 comments:

AmyJean said...

I think sometimes people are so overwhelmed with being asked that they don't really think about what else goes into it... time, thoughtfulness, consideration, sacrifice, and finances...

There's a reason we "ask" and not just pick... so i'm with you. if you can't handle the heat (responsibilities), stay out of the kitchen (just the wedding party, not the whole wedding itself).

I think in these circumstances - honesty is the best policy. I was very forthright with my bm party... just like you, telling them it won't be cheap and i have some expectations ... so i'm crossing my fingers for smooth planning :)

Good luck! :)

issa said...

awwww sorry to hear about the groomsman issue.. guys just don't get what is all entailed in weddings sometimes.... *sigh*

and i'm totally sorry about the skirts! i'll send them once i get them back again!

Miss Sapphira said...

Sorry to hear about the groosmen...just when you think everything is running smoothly, something pops up.

Ten Thousand Only said...

i have (extremely) low tolerance for boo attitudes. but that tolerance tends to improve when dealing with boys who obviously don't know proper.

regardless, you're a trooper. spill your rants here on the blog where your feelings are completely understood.

and as for dealing with it in real life, try not to take it personally. i know. totally easier said than done. but think of it this way...they would probably complain about the same things if it was friend A or B or C.